I am not a normal person， at least from the psychological state I am not perfect. I don't know what my value is. Maybe many people don't know， but I only know that what I want to do is not let more people become like me， who look normal and have mental disabilities.All the time， what I have faced since childhood is disguise. I have to pretend at school， at home and outside. It seems that I am normal， but I am not.I don't know what other people's lives are like， but for a long time， I have chosen a body that is not my own. I will not feel backed up because I have a home， nor will I have the courage to accept failure. From small to large， we will receive more negatives than affirmations， and we will not be applauded because we have more expertise than others， but we must pay for small mistakes.Since I was young， I should know that what I want can only be obtained by myself. If I rely on others， I will think that I don't know what is worth. I can't resist what others put on me. Although it's not bloody， I often face people's hearts. No one will tolerate my sentence because I am not used to it， even including eating and taking bowls.When you grow up， you must obey the arrangement. The road of life has been paved for you! Escort with experience， bind the splint with morality， in the final analysis， for your future， and ask: What do you take for the future?I don't know， nor do I dare to wonder whether the next generation will be in the same situation as me in this life situation. I do not want to harm a person who has nothing to do with himself， nor do I want to destroy a person's life to accompany him.Now I only know， I don't know from which moment， the things given at home can only be used to protect bowls， and it is a sin to use them in excess. At that moment， my face was covered with an invisible mask. No one could know what I was thinking， and no one could understand what I was thinkingI don't want to be Guo Chenguang， because this identity is really tired to live; I don't want to be a Guocheng either. I'm really lonely on my way alone.This is my last letter in this world. I don't know when it will work. One day， someone will understand the meaning of its existence.To those who think they are right， to those who struggle.
我不是一个正常人，至少从心理状态我是不完善的。我也不知道我的价值是什么，也许很多人也不知道，但是我只知道我想做的是不让更多的人变成我这样的，看起来正常，心理残缺的人。
一直以来，我从小面对的都是伪装，在学校得装、在家里得装、在外面为人处世得装。让人看起来我很正常，但其实我很不正常。
我不知道别人的生活是怎样的，但我长久以来，都选择了一条不是自己的躯壳活着。我不会因为有家而感到有后盾遮风挡雨，也没有勇气接受失败。从小到大收到的否定要比肯定更多，也不会因为有超出别人的特长有人喝彩，但必须为小小的失误买单。
从小我就要知道我想要的只能自己获取，依靠别人，会认为不懂物有所值。别人塞给我的无法抗拒，虽不至于腥风血雨，却也常常直面人心。没有人会因为我的一句不习惯而容忍，甚至于包括吃饭拿碗。
长大后一定服从安排，人生的路已经为你铺排！用经验保驾护航，用道德捆绑夹板，说到底为你未来，呼问：你拿什么为未来摸排？
我不知道，我也不敢想在这样的人生境遇下，下一代的人生会不会走上和我一样的境遇。我不想害一个于己无关的人，也不想再毁掉一个人的人生来作陪。
如今的我只知道，不知道从哪一刻开始，家里给的东西只能拿来护碗，用在超出的地方便是罪。而那一刻开始，我的脸上便遮上了看不见的面具，没有人能知道我想什么，也没有人能明白想什么……
我不想做郭晨光，因为这个身份真的活着很累；我也不想做郭城，一个人的路上真的孤立无援。
互相这就是我留在这个世界上的一份遗书，不知道什么时候奏效，互相有一天，会有人能明白它存在的意义。
写给那些自以为是的人，写给那些苦苦挣扎的人。